114 Short Baseball Jokes (Dad, Pitcher, Catcher, Umpire)

We use affiliate links in this article. And, as an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Thanks for your support.

Welcome to our grand slam collection of 114 Short Baseball Jokes, guaranteed to be a hit with fans of all ages! If you thrive on the crack of the bat, the cheer of the crowd, and especially the humor that threads through the stitches of this beloved sport, then you’re in the right ballpark. Whether you’re a dad trying to score some laughs at home plate, a pitcher aiming to throw someone off with a curveball one-liner, or a catcher ready to snap up some chuckles, this list promises something for everyone. And for those in the adult crowd, we haven’t forgotten you; interspersed among these pages are clever baseball jokes for adult people, ensuring that the humor matches everyone’s league. Get ready to pitch some laughs and catch some groans with these fantastically fun one-liner baseball jokes that are sure to keep the bases loaded with giggles.

Short One-Liner Baseball Jokes

  1. Why was the baseball team always in trouble? Because they kept getting caught stealing bases!
  2. What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player? Babe Root.
  3. Why are baseball games at night? Because bats sleep during the day!
  4. How do baseball players stay cool? They sit next to their fans.
  5. Why was the baseball team bad at math? Because they couldn’t find home plate.
  6. What do you call a baseball player who throws a tantrum? A basebrawler.
  7. Why did the baseball player shut down his website? He couldn’t manage the hits.
  8. What do you call a baseball player who loves ice cream? A sundae pitcher.
  9. Why don’t baseball players join unions? They don’t like to strike.
  10. What’s a baseball player’s least favorite chair? The bench.
  11. How do pitchers stay in touch? They touch base every now and then.
  12. Why was the baseball team always lost? They couldn’t find their way home.
  13. What do you call a baseball player with a broken leg? A base limper.
  14. Why don’t baseball teams play cards? Too many cheaters trying to steal signs.
  15. What did the baseball glove say to the ball? “Catch you later.”
  16. Why are ghosts terrible at baseball? They can never get to home base.
  17. What’s a baseball player’s favorite type of music? Pitch perfect.
  18. Why was the baseball team always cold? They kept getting frozen at home plate.
  19. How do baseball players stay safe? They always touch base.
  20. Why was the baseball book always in trouble? It had too many stolen bases.
  21. What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a sponge? A home plate cleaner.
  22. Why do baseball players make terrible guests? They always steal your base.
  23. How are baseball teams like pancakes? They both need good batters.
  24. Why don’t baseball players get lost? They always follow the diamond.
  25. What do you call an old snowman? Water.
  26. Why don’t dinosaurs play baseball? They’re extinct.
  27. How is a baseball team similar to a muffin? They both depend on the batter.
  28. Why do baseball players love donuts? Because they can’t resist the dugout.
  29. What did the baseball player say to his son? I glove you.
  30. Why is a baseball stadium always a cool place? Because it’s full of fans.

Knock Knock Baseball Jokes

  1. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Batter who?

Batter open the door before I hit a home run!

  1. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Homer who?

Homer sweet home base!

  1. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Pitch who?

Pitcher perfect timing!

  1. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Strike who?

Strike up a conversation with me!

  1. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Umpire who?

Umpire tired of standing all day.

  1. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Base who?

Base-ically, it’s time to play ball!

  1. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Diamond who?

Diamonds are a baseball’s best friend!

  1. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Runner who?

Runner on the bases, ready or not!

  1. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Steal who?

Steal second base if you can!

  1. Knock knock.

Who’s there?


Catch who?

Catch me if you can!

Baseball Pitcher Jokes

Baseball pitchers not only have the skill to throw a curveball that baffles the batter but also, often unknowingly, pitch some of the funniest moments in the game. Below, you’ll find a selection of funny baseball jokes centered around the unique challenges and hilarious predicaments pitchers often find themselves in. From fastballs to strikeouts, these jokes aim to capture the lighter side of standing on the mound, proving that even in the most tense moments, there’s always room for a chuckle.

  1. Why did the pitcher go to jail? Because he was always throwing curves.
  2. What do you call a pitcher who can sing? A pitch-perfect performer.
  3. Why was the baseball team always cold? Because they had too many fans and not enough heaters.
  4. How does a pitcher say goodbye? “Catch you later!”
  5. What’s a pitcher’s favorite part of a joke? The punch line drive.
  6. Why are baseball pitchers such bad storytellers? They can only throw one curveball at a time.
  7. What do you call an injured pitcher? A throw-away.
  8. Why don’t pitchers make good comedians? Because their jokes always fall flat.
  9. What’s a pitcher’s least favorite movie genre? Fastballs and the Furious.
  10. Why did the pitcher break up with the catcher? There was no more chemistry behind the plate.
  11. How do you know a pitcher is getting old? When their fastball becomes a changeup.
  12. Why are pitchers bad at soccer? They only know how to throw strikes.
  13. What did the baseball glove say to the pitcher? “I’ve got you covered!”
  14. Why was the pitcher a great musician? He had perfect pitch.
  15. Why don’t pitchers use smartphones? They can’t handle the sliders.
  16. How can you tell if a pitcher is a spy? He knows how to throw off the batters.
  17. Why don’t pitchers write novels? They only know how to work in short pitches.
  18. Why do pitchers make the worst thieves? They always get caught!
  19. Why did the pitcher sit on the side of the game? He threw his arm out.
  20. What’s a pitcher’s favorite exercise? Arm circles, because they always end up in the bullpen.

Baseball Catcher Jokes

Exploring the lighter side of baseball, catcher jokes provide a humorous glance behind the plate, showcasing the wit and camaraderie that exists between pitchers and catchers. Baseball funny slang and inside jokes not only highlight the intricacies of the game but also create a bond among fans, players, and enthusiasts alike. These jests serve as a reminder of the joy and playful spirit inherent in America’s favorite pastime, where even the most high-stakes moments can be met with a smile.

  1. Why do baseball catchers make terrible secret agents? Because they always spill the beans.
  2. How does a catcher sing? In perfect pitch… to the pitcher!
  3. What do catchers wear on Halloween? Mittens, because they always want to stay in character.
  4. Why was the baseball catcher so good at his job? He had a real knack for catching people’s attention.
  5. How do you praise a baseball catcher? “Nice catch!”
  6. Why can’t catchers keep secrets? They tend to drop the ball.
  7. What’s a catcher’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good catch.
  8. Why do baseball catchers make great companions? They’re always there to catch you when you fall.
  9. What’s a catcher’s favorite game? Catchphrase, of course.
  10. Why don’t catchers like bad jokes? They can’t handle the pitch.
  11. How do catchers stay cool? By sitting under their fans.
  12. What did the pitcher say to his twin who was a catcher? “You catch my drift, right?”
  13. Why did the catcher get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  14. How do catchers encourage their team? “Catch your dreams!”
  15. Why was the catcher always calm? Nothing could throw him off.
  16. Why did the catcher fail at hide and seek? He was always spotted behind the plate.
  17. What’s a catcher’s favorite meal? Anything he can catch with his fork.
  18. Why do catchers dislike modern art? They prefer something they can catch on to.
  19. What’s a catcher’s least favorite drink? Anything that slips through.
  20. Why was the catcher the social butterfly of the team? He knew how to catch up with everyone.

Baseball Umpire Jokes

  1. Why don’t baseball umpires get lost? They always know where home is.
  2. How do you know when an umpire likes your game? He gives it a fair shot.
  3. What’s an umpire’s favorite type of story? One with a clear beginning, middle, and end… just like the bases.
  4. Why was the baseball umpire so good at his job? He made every call count.
  5. How do umpires stay so fit? By making close calls.
  6. What did the baseball player say to the umpire with a bad cold? “You seem out of your league today.”
  7. Why don’t umpires mind rainy days? Because they always have their calls covered.
  8. What’s an umpire’s favorite snack? Foul balls – they can’t resist making a call.
  9. Why don’t umpires get along with ghosts? They prefer entities that don’t vanish into thin air.
  10. Why did the umpire break up with his girlfriend? He was tired of her questionable calls.
  11. What did one umpire say to the other? “Good game, you really called it like you saw it.”
  12. How do umpires write a symphony? With a lot of throws and catches, but always in harmony.
  13. Why was the umpire always calm during a heated game? He knew how to play it cool under pressure.
  14. What’s an umpire’s least favorite movie? “Missed Calls”.
  15. Why do umpires make terrible thieves? They always get caught in the act.
  16. What’s an umpire’s favorite part of a joke? The punch line, so they can decide if it’s a hit or miss.
  17. Why did the player argue with the umpire? He thought the call was out of left field.
  18. How come umpires don’t play hide and seek with players? Because they always make a scene when found.
  19. Why was the umpire’s decision so shocking? Because it came out of left field, and even the scoreboard couldn’t believe it.
  20. What do you call an umpire with a broken watch? Timeless, but still making game-delaying decisions.
  21. Why did the game end in confusion? The umpire called a “strike” at a football match!
  22. How do you challenge an umpire’s decision? With a good eye and even better patience, because you might end up seeing the game from the stands.
  23. Why did the team lose the championship? The umpire’s favorite color was apparently the opposing team’s jersey color.
  24. What did the player say after a questionable call? “Looks like the umpire’s glasses are in need of a new prescription!”

Baseball Dad Jokes

  1. Why don’t baseball players join unions? They don’t like to strike out.
  2. Why was the baseball team always in trouble? They kept hitting “foul” play.
  3. What do you call a baseball player who throws a tantrum? A basebrawler.
  4. How do you impress a baseball fan? Catch a fly ball with one hand while holding a hot dog in the other.
  5. Why was the baseball glove so sad? It missed its mate.
  6. Why don’t baseball games start in the morning? Because it’s hard to beat a sunrise double.
  7. How does a baseball player stay cool? By sitting next to the fans.
  8. What do you call an old snowman? Water.
  9. Why did the baseball player clean his cleats? To avoid a dirty steal.
  10. What do baseball players use to bake a cake? Oven mitts!
Photo of author


James Arnold
I'm James, and I live in Stanislaus County, California. I'm playing Baseball for many years, and I love this sport so much that I also encourage my kids (Danny and Sara) to play Baseball & Softball.